No time for Mammy Friends…
When I was pregnant, and even for a few years afterwards, I didn’t see the need to make any “Mammy Friends”. I found the idea pointless, if I’m honest! Honestly, I had my own friends, why would I need any others? I was also in a position where my sister was pregnant at the same time as me, along with two of my close friends. Plenty of my other friends had already had children, and I already had an amazing niece. I did not need any Mammy Friends in my life. I was busy enough! My status as cool mam had been established, I knew it all!
What a fool!
It’s just now as I reflect on having a really nice time at the local soft play with Noah, his pals and their Mammies, that I realise that we do, eventually, need other Mammy Friends.
Noah + Friends = New Mammy Friends
Noah starts in Reception in September, and he’s at the age where he does want to play with his friends outside of school. He wants to send them videos and pictures and he wants to know what they’re up to when they’re not all together. It means I’ve naturally formed relationships with many of the school mams, and I like to think that friendships are certainly forming. At an age where you start to have completely different priorities and goals as those who were your friends BC (before children), it’s nice to have people with whom you have common ground and interests.
Mammy friends do not replace other friends
It doesn’t mean that I don’t value my BC friends, I really do! They know that too, I hope. It simply means that I’m grateful to have a group of amazing women who I can message if I’m ready throw the Easter crafts in the bin, or if I want to giggle about a tale that Noah tells me from school. Our children are the biggest priorities in our lives, and with that comes their friendships and social lives. I think we’re really lucky if we can help them to make meaningful friendships, and it’s a bonus that I gain some new friends in the process. I’ve said before that friendship is so important to me, and it’s definitely a value that Noah has adopted from me too.
Why I think Mammy Friends are important:
The school mams are so supportive too, whether it’s school/child related or not. I definitely went through a phase of questioning myself and my ability to be a good friend after the big friendship break-up earlier in the year, and they’ve certainly helped me to see that you can move on, make new friendships and survive! If I was the awful person I started to think that I was, surely these girlies wouldn’t be so kind to me?
So, why do we need Mammy Friends? Here’s my personal take on this:
Ten reasons why Mammy Friends rock!
- They don’t care when you turn up at school in your worst clothes and without your hair or make-up done. They get the challenge of the morning routine, and chances are they’ve had as manic a morning as you!
- There’s not an eye-roll in sight when you’re talking about your kid/s.
- You can happily discuss poo and puke in any social situation with these ladies. It’s the norm, after all!
- You don’t have to worry about oversharing anything! There’s no horror story that they haven’t heard, or lived through!
- When you lose the school newsletter, they’re always on-call to catch you up with any details.
- They don’t judge you for the odd FML or “fucks sake” that gets muttered once or twice a day.
- Being a stressed-Mammy doesn’t make them hate you. They understand the pressure and think nothing of it.
- Mammy Friends understand the need to plan your own social life around a little human. They are usually happy enough to socialise somewhere were the kids can play and where you can get coffee.
- They’re someone to laugh with when your child says something highly inappropriate. They also understand the use of “get on with it” as a legit way of dealing with toddler squabbles!
- When you’ve had a hard day, and you and the mini-me have both had multiple melt-downs, they’re there to cheer you up, sympathise and quite often, offer cake!
I just want to say “thank you” to my new-found Mammy Friends. You’re all incredible!