Hello month two of 2017, the year which I’ve decided to make my happiest yet. It’s kicked off to an awesome start, as I discussed in last week’s post. But how can I keep this going? How can we all slay those negative vibes, and bring positivity to the forefront this year? I don’t know about you, but I sometimes need a prompt when it comes to having my glass half full. Here are ten methods which I’m finding work when the doubt sets in and I can feel a meltdown coming.
Say “yes” to more opportunities.
Now, I’m not planning on going all Danny Wallace on you, by saying yes to absolutely every idea and suggestion that comes my way (seriously, read Yes Man if you haven’t. Don’t trust the film. Read the original concept in the book). However, I do think it’s an idea to broaden our horizons and being much more open-minded. I’ve started to watch things I would normal scowl at, read books that aren’t my usual type, and listen to music I’ve never heard of. I’m doing a peer-coaching programme at work, something which terrified me at first, but that I also really want to do. I went to the cinema on my own last week. It doesn’t have to be something dangerous or hugely life altering, but saying yes when you’d ordinarily say a big fat “no” is good for your soul, and quite liberating too!
Be honest about who you are.
Do you find yourself toning down your opinions or your personality to please other people? Well stop! Stop it right now! There’s that phrase famously adopted and adapted by Marilyn Monroe that springs to mind here: “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” This should be applied to every relationship in your life. I think that you should always be your authentic self, and never let anyone stifle that. I’m terrible for holding back incase people ridicule my ideas, but I won’t do it any more! I was recently asked to give an honest opinion on a problem that was going on in my personal life. I gave that, and now I’m lighter by a friend or two. But I was myself, and honest. Maybe a bit too much so- there’s a lesson to learn here between finding that line between honesty and being perhaps a tad jealous and judgemental (I know my flaws- I’m working on it). Do I feel sad I lost the friendship? Of course. Do I regret being honest about my feelings? Not in the slightest. It’s made me more determined to live my life in a way that’s best for me and my family, and not under a pretence to please other people.
Eradicate the bullshit.
Being more honest leads nicely on to getting rid of any BS in your life. There’s not time for it. Nor do we have enough energy to deal with it. No matter what our life looks like or how it is structured, I do not believe that anyone wants to waste time on meaningless conversations or activities. Surely, and I hope I’m right here, only a true narcissist enjoys the drama? Quite frankly, if I never have to deal with some form of bullshit again in my life, I’ll be a happy woman! Life’s too short!
Let go of the past.
Easier said than done, I know. But if it’s not going to matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes worrying about it. Whether it’s forgetting that time someone from work bitched about your project, or whether it’s that time your boyfriend said something rude to you. If you can’t sort it out, gaining some sort of closure or perspective, then let it go. Move on!
Say “goodbye” to negative energy.
Are you seeing the pattern here? We all know someone who can suck the joy out of any situation, whether intentional or not. There’s only so much advice and help that you can give that person. Do you find yourself repeatedly listening to their problems, but then they do nothing to help themselves? It’s time to be selfish again. Self-preservation is key here. Don’t let the negativity of others act like a leech on your happiness. Hit that unfollow button, and give yourself a break. It doesn’t mean you can’t be there for them, it’s just looking out for number one.
Spend time with the people who make you smile.
There’s nothing revolutionary about this one. If someone makes you feel happy, spend time with them! Surround yourself with optimistic people. Someone can be realistic and truthful without being cynical and draining. Your time should be spent with those that you love and with those who make you smile so much that your face aches. Enjoy as many moments as you can, creating quality memories.
Expand your mind.
Don’t become complacent with your own learning and personal development. I have wanted to do “something” for about six years. I was accepted onto an MA in Creative Writing when I was 28 but I turned it down to take a promotion at work- more money with a new born seemed to be what I needed at the time, but it proved to be a big mistake. In a way I’m pleased that I didn’t start my MA. I’ve found my true passion and as much as writing is involved, it’s not the focus. I cannot wait to start my diploma in CBT, Coaching and Mentoring. I’m ready to learn and expand my mind. Even if you’re not in a position to re-train, read new books, watch something factual on the television, swap Facebook for more informative sites. There are lots of ways that you can develop yourself personally and intellectually. Give one a go today!
Work more efficiently.
This is something that I taught myself today after a big breakdown a few years ago. I was working too hard, with a newborn baby, and generally not looking after myself at all. Something had to give. I dropped a day at work, I only bring marking home when I absolutely have to, and I happily have a working lunch if it means I get more stuff done during working hours. Try not to create extra tasks for yourself to do. Ask for help and support when you need it. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you’re feeling overwhelmed. No job is worth being miserable for.
Complete a vision board, or a goals workbook.
This is something that I have half done in the form of a project book. I have a personal one and a business one. I do, however, really want to complete a vision board. They’re so pretty! And a visual daily reminder of my goals and aspirations, and how to achieve them, will do nothing other than bring positivity your way.
This is important! Make time to have fun. Every day! Whether it’s dancing around your kitchen with the kids for half an hour (a favourite of mine right now) or going for a walk, it doesn’t matter! Throw on an episode of your favourite TV show or listen to a comedy podcast. Do something to make you laugh on a daily basis, no matter how shitty a day you’ve had. Try to do something extra fun on your days off- for me it’s going on adventures with Andy and Noah, or drinking a bottle of Champagne (or Prosecco, depending on how close to payday I am) with my best friend. Laugh and enjoy life. It’s what we’re here for.