Take a look at this picture that I spotted floating around on Facebook last week…
At first glance, I liked it. I’m all for independence and women not needing to rely on anyone but themselves. But then I got a bit annoyed by it. I became somewhat pissed off! Why, in 2017, do you have to be anti-men/anti-marriage/anti-relationship to be seen as successful, cool, edgy etc.? Why does it matter?
The more I looked into it, the more I felt that it was just another example of how we’re all too quick to judge the life choices of our “sisters”. I’ll admit, I felt borderline ridiculed from this post. Am I some kind of joke to society because I got married and have a child?
When I was very young (19, clearly some kind of hillbilly), I said yes to my “prince”- that term in itself makes me want to vomit somewhat. Andy wasn’t a prince out to rescue me. He was, and still is, my best friend! A partner in everything that I do. We’re a team. End of! Together, we’ve travelled the world, met interesting people, learned new stuff. I just haven’t “hooked up” with a the “cute guys”. I’m not frigid, nor do I think anyone who does enjoy the hook ups is a slut. I often put myself first, because my husband encourages me to do so. Rock concerts? Well, my Dad says I’m never in and I’m always swanning off! This is not something I have missed out on because I got myself a ball and chain. My house is overrun with my shoes, I’m in a relationship and still haven’t been cheated on, and I’m pretty sure people who love me think I’m “fucking cool as hell” too. I earn more than my husband too. And he keeps the toilet seat down!
What am I getting at? Do I think that my life is perfect? Not at all. Is anyone’s? Don’t we all face difficulties? The point I’m trying to make here is this: Good on the Princess who said “no” to this Prince Charming guy, and good on her for forging her own path in life and living it to the fullest. But hats off to the married women who like to do nice things for their partners, this doesn’t make you some kind of Stepford Wife. Good on the ladies who stay at home with their kids, and good on those who don’t want to have kids. Good on the women who act shamelessly, the ones who like to party, the ones who like avoiding people, the ones who love reading Russian literature, the ones who are committed to fitness, the ones who are committed to pizza, the ones who love their holidays, the ones who are saving all their money, the ones who have a million friends, the ones who only have one or two, the ones who like the Kardashians, the ones who think they’re just vapid wastes of space… Kudos to ALL women out there, making their way through this scary but exciting world, going down whichever path you choose!
The Spice Girls had something right when they coined Girl Power in the 90s. We have to support each other. We have to show future generations how to be kind to others and not knock them down.
Please don’t think that I’m preaching. This is definitely a learning curve for me. My worst trait is jealousy, and this adds to my own insecurities and often makes me a bit of a bitch! This is something that I am going to put a stop to. I am going to congratulate those people who in the past I have judged, slagged off and wish I didn’t know! I am going to actively support ALL of my friends. I’m going to be kind instead of disparaging. If I support other women and help them feel better, then maybe other women will help me to feel better too. Let’s try and get a positive cycle going this year by raising each other up instead of knocking them down. It’s often said that “girls can be mean” or “women are bitches”. I want to stop proving whoever says this right!
Join me. Next time you see someone doing something you wouldn’t do, don’t Snapchat them to embarrass them (this happened to me earlier when I was with so-called family and friends, and guess what, it made me feel awful), laugh with them, or loosen up and join in! When you next see a post about how women with husbands and kids are pathetic, don’t share it, think about all of your friends who are in that stage of life but are wonderful women. Next time you want to call someone sad for being single, think about how they’ve made the choice to be single, and maybe they’re just brave! Just be nice to people. It’s not actually boring, it’s wonderful! I can’t wait!