When did we become so quick to hate happy women?
I recently retweeted news about Tess Holiday gracing the cover of People Magazine in America, to which I got into a debate with a guy who assumed that, because of her larger size, Tess is morbidly unhealthy and setting a bad example to the world. At a U.S. size 22 (UK 26), Tess is rocking it as a very successful plus size model. She’s only 5ft 5, so three inches shorter than most other “standard” and plus size models. Until Tess, models in the plus sized world were never larger than a U.S. size 16 (UK size 20). There is a definite split over Tess, and other larger models. Do they promote an unhealthy approach to life, or a positive attitude that more of us should embrace? Why do we get so angry about it all?
Is it possible that we simply can’t stand to see someone who is happy with their body? In this age of social media, press intrusion and constant judgement, it’s almost unnerving to see someone who, quite frankly, doesn’t care less what people think of them. Tess has been a promoter of #effyourbeautystandards, a recent trend on Twitter which developed into so much more. I defy anyone to deny the fact that Tess is a beautiful and powerful woman. Just this evening, I sent my bestie a photo of her asking if anyone could get me a face like hers. She’s stunning, and unique. And clearly comfortable in her own skin. Couldn’t we all do with a bit more of that?
I strongly believe that it is our own insecurities that make us drag other people down. Don’t like your shape? You make snide comments about other women whom you envy. Having a bad hair day? Well why not destroy the confidence of someone else? It’s getting ridiculous. Body shaming at its worst.
Everyone has insecurities- but should they define how we feel about each other? I very much dislike my stomach. The way it dimples and sags is pretty disgusting to be honest. Since I’ve lost weight, it’s gotten far worse. It could be something that really puts me in a dark place. Do you know why it doesn’t? My stomach muscles aren’t what they were. Since having my c-section, it’s been pretty grim. But I got my son, and my beautiful family out of that c-section, so if I have to work a little harder or put up with my loose skin and sagging tummy, then so be it. I wouldn’t swap it for anything, when it represents the best day of my life. I’ll just continue at the gym, keep eating healthily, and hope that one day my tummy doesn’t slap me when I run! I will not let it turn me into a bitter and jealous woman who uses my insecurity as an excuse to pull down other women.
Now, this awful shaming culture isn’t just aimed at “fat” women. Nope, “skinny” lasses are constantly being scrutinised and slated because of how they look. E! News hostess, Giuliana Rancic, has been slammed for posting this holiday snap on her own Instagram this week:
Giuliana is a slender woman, but she’s healthy and happy, so what is the problem? She’s even confessed that her inability to gain weight has become worse since she was treated for breast cancer. Yet we still judge her, and complain about how she looks? The woman has survived cancer, and raised an unreal amount of awareness and money about breast cancer itself, yet we still criticise. When we should be applauding Rancic for all that she has battled, overcome and achieved. Ladies, does it matter if she doesn’t look like you? No! Does it make you inferior or superior because you’re not that thin? Or because you’re not as large as some other women? Be yourself. Love yourself.
Girl Power needs to be dragged into 2015. We should be sticking together, celebrating our diversity and our looks. There’s no harm in admiring how other women look, or their ethics to getting to where they are, but celebrate this! I love complimenting my fellow females. If someone is wearing a nice outfit, I tell them. If I like someone’s hairstyle, I tell them. If someone looks like they’ve lost a few pounds, I tell them! Pass the love people, c’mon!
And if I don’t like the way that someone looks? Well I shut my mouth and I let them do them! I don’t always get it right, but I’m happy so I don’t care. People do not need to tell me if I look fat or tired. Chances are, if I have a smile on my face I don’t really care! The next time you go to make a sly remark or post something negative online about how another woman looks, just don’t. Do not resort to being a dick! End of story!
These women are happy in themselves, and that’s the most beautiful thing in the world!
Successful women who are happy with their shape, whether they’re thick or thin: